Feeling the Wrath - mediator or bouncer?


On Wednesday the SCCR collaborated with Cyrenians Conflict Resolution Mediatior Paul to host a seminar all about anger and family conflict. What to do when it happens, tips and techniques to resolve it, why anger is sometimes good etc. As the Events Organiser for the SCCR it’s a real privilege to attend all these interesting and thought provoking events and learn new things every time. One of the comments that stood out to me was made by a delegates talking about how hard it can be to mediate when anger takes over…

“I’m a mediator - not a bouncer!”

The room chuckled but there seemed to be a consensus of nodding heads that perhaps this happens quite a lot? If anyone else has felt this way it would be great to hear about it and share any advice for others working in a family conflict resolution field.


Things can get pretty heated in the mediation room, but mediators should be trained to manage these situations to keep everyone safe (without having to handcuff someone to a chair!) Often I find that if good preparation is done people are able to work through anger or strong emotion so that they are able to come together to have a conversation. I think it’s ok to be angry … mediators can help us to consider the reasons we feel this way and explain it to others involved. What do other people think?


I get to feel more lion tamer than bouncer, not as much now probably because I’ve got better at the preparation. A big part of that is what the participants expect, if they expect its going to be a screaming match it probably will be, if they expect that we will work with how they are feeling but try to do it in a productive way to improve their communication then that will be more likely