"Challenging the Culture of Conflict"

[AbbeyKrause]

Check out our recent Blog by Karen Holford where she shares some of her reflections from conference 5 http://ow.ly/JPgcp

A central theme of the day was the importance of relationships. How do we nurture these relationships and help them to grow? Here are some further ideas shared by people at the conference on how to help relationships “flourish” …

“To see the positives and not the negatives in others.”

“Love – care, nurture and encourage each other. Just be kind.”

“Laughing and being happy”

“Take a look at the other point of view and see what you can find there. Admit you might have been wrong after all.”

“Create spaces that are attractive and safe, to encourage dialogue.”

So how do we make Scotland the best place to grow up? How do we challenge the way we think about and manage conflict in Scotland? Perhaps beginning with our relationships is a good place to start?

[AbbeyKrause]

This is so true for me also. The way I manage conflict will completely depend on the situation I am in, who I am having the difficulty with and just what kind of day I’ve had! I think you’re right Seana, having an awareness of this stuff is so important for our relationships both personal and professional.

What are other people’s thoughts? Do we all take the time to look at our own relationships and the way we manage conflict? Do we think it’s important?

[Gwen]

Great post Abbey, thank you. It’s a toughie really, as I think many people kind of instinctively fear conflict and shy from it, largely out of fear: fear of being wrong, of being judged or verbally attacked and of probably many other things. We need a more tolerant, more forgiving and empathic society where ‘failure’ is permissible, where it’s ok to have a different point of view and where we accept difference. It’s a cultural change that’s needed but I agree with your point that change of that nature starts with our relationships as individuals; that changing culture starts on the ground and so nurturing relationships founded upon acceptance, empathy and authenticity is the way to go!

[AbbeyKrause]

Many thanks for your post Gwen. I think you’re right, I recognize fear as being a barrier for being able to work through conflict in a positive way. It can be so tricky especially if we have had experiences of trying to work through a difficult situation and being met with the things you mention above - being judged and verbally attacked.

Does anyone have some ideas for nurturing a society where acceptance and empathy are encouraged? How do we begin to practice these ting sin our own relationships?

[Gwen]

Hi again - I wonder actually if perhaps it starts with the relationship we have with ourselves …? What I mean is that being open to oneself and looking to expand our self-awareness, exploring our attitudes, beliefs and values can be key to reaching self-acceptance and the ability to be kind to and understanding of oneself. That then translates into being more able to apply those same principles in relationship to others. That makes it sound simplistic and a bit formulaic which it’s not at all but I hope it’s something others can maybe relate to.

[AbbeyKrause]

I can absolutely relate to this. I firmly believe being kind to ourselves in the first step to resolution with others, though not always easy! A really helpful thing to remember thank you for sharing.