Mediation - sitting with discomfort?


I often read blogs by Charlie Irvine and this one caught my attention

As mediators we learn certain processes, we follow guidelines and ethical codes, we learn certain techniques and ‘moves’ that are more likely to lead to resolution, a deeper understanding or an agreed way forward by those involved … and we practice… a lot.

Among other thoughts that stood out for me in Charlies blog was the one about being OK with not knowing where the process is going and “using role play to develop a tolerance towards discomfort through repeated exposure”.

It made me think about running - For me running never becomes easy or even comfortable. My mileage goes up and I get fitter. But what makes it ‘easier’ is that I begin to feel much more familiar with discomfort.

Mediation I think can be similar, sitting with the discomfort of conflict, not knowing where a conversation will go or what the outcome will look like. Mediators talk about ‘trusting the process’ perhaps we should also think of it as trusting the people. With some space, support and curious optimism if people want to resolve their situation they probably will!

I love to hear other people’s thoughts on Charlie’s blog :slight_smile:


Hi Abbey
Thanks to both you and Charlie for sharing your thoughts. From my perspective what I thought here is about the importance of building and rebuilding trust. Both in yourself as a mediator and in turn with the people involved, a circular relationship of honesty and connection with emotions and feelings.